How to Change Your Beliefs: A Practical Guide
One of the most common questions after my previous post on big desires was, “how do I change my preexisting beliefs?”
Before diving into any practical advice, let’s lay some groundwork first and turn to the meaning of belief, assumption, and fact.
What is a belief? According to the dictionary, belief is an acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof.
Now, if we look up the word “assumption” in the lexicon, we find an essentially identical definition; an assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
Clearly, belief and assumption mean the same thing. Both words express the acceptance of something internally – without having any evidence in the outer world.
In contrast to a belief/assumption, a fact is a thing that is known or proved to be true.
And what’s the core of Neville’s teachings? “The only fate governing your life is the fate determined by your own concepts, your own assumptions; for an assumption, though false, if persisted in will harden into fact.”
By swapping the word assumption with the word belief, Neville’s famous statement looks like this: “The only fate governing your life is the fate determined by your own concepts, your own beliefs; for a belief, though false, if persisted in will harden into fact.”
Here, it is important to note that Neville adds the plural inflection ‘-s’ to the word assumption. Nobody’s life is governed by only one assumption/belief, we all hold in our minds multiple ones. We have assumptions/beliefs about ourselves, others, the world around us, love, money, etc. As a matter of fact, we generate assumptions/beliefs about everything that gets a piece of our attention. However, only the ones we persist in appear in our outer world and become the facts of our lives.
Now, based on my observation we can differentiate between two types of beliefs/assumptions: 1) general and 2) specific. For instance, “I am beautiful” is a general belief/assumption, while “I have perfect skin” is a specific one. Likewise, “I am always lucky in love” is a general belief/assumption, while “I am happily married” is a specific one.
The point my last post intended to get across is that when it comes to our life-changing desires, we usually fail due to the same mistake. We are trying to incubate a specific belief/assumption in a sea of hostile general ones.
For example, suppose you choose to persist in the following specific belief/assumption: “I am making 1000 dollars a day.”
However, the general money beliefs/assumptions that you have already persisted in (and therefore created as facts in your life) sound something like this: “I am a failure. I barely make ends meet. I can manifest everything but money. I keep losing money on my investments. I struggle to sell my products. All wealthy people are crooks.”
Notice that none of these beliefs/assumptions is the direct opposite of your new one, however, they are logically incompatible with “I am making 1000 dollars a day.” And your mind knows that. Thus, it won’t accept your new belief/assumption in an instant.
This whole situation is akin to a pregnancy where the mother is Rh negative and her fetus is Rh positive. When the blood of an Rh-positive fetus gets into the bloodstream of an Rh-negative woman, her body will recognize that the Rh-positive blood is not hers. Her body will try to destroy it by making anti-Rh antibodies. These antibodies can cross the placenta and attack the fetus’ blood cells. This can lead to serious health problems, even death, for a fetus or a newborn.
Similarly, the general negative beliefs/assumptions we have already persisted to the point of realization (i.e., facts = pre-existing beliefs) can greatly interfere with the manifestation of a new positive belief/assumption.
In some cases, they can completely prevent the new belief/assumption from coming to fruition. In other ones, the person manifesting manages to realize the specific desire without changing any general negative beliefs, only to lose the manifestation a couple of days or months later.
A perfect example of the latter is lottery winners. There is countless research showing that regardless of the size of their winnings, the majority of lottery winners eventually return to their original financial state. This happens because most of them only put mental energy into the specific assumption/belief of winning the lottery jackpot and forget to change their general money beliefs/assumptions beforehand (or simultaneously).
So how can we change our general beliefs/assumptions regarding a certain desire? Let me introduce you to a simple formula.
Step 1 – Identify
The first step is to identify your current beliefs/assumptions that would contradict the fulfillment of your desire.
As Neville says in The Power of Awareness, “Health, wealth, beauty, and genius are not created; they are only manifested by the arrangement of your mind, that is, by your concept of yourself and your concept of yourself is all that you accept and consent to as true.”
When people tell you that self-concept is key to manifesting, they are right. What they usually don’t articulate too well is the notion of self-concept.
Your self-concept is the sum of all your assumptions/beliefs (“all that you accept and consent to as true”). Your beliefs about the world, love, money, your job, etc. – are all part of your self-concept. For example, if you believe that “mathematics is easy” that will become your self-concept the same way as an “I am-type belief” (like “I am a genius” or “I am a straight-A student”).
Obviously, if you want to find your general beliefs/assumptions that would contradict the fulfillment of your specific desire you must be very aware of what’s going on in your mind; you must be very aware of all the negative beliefs/assumptions that you have accepted and currently consent to as true (i.e. your belief system).
Based on my experience, the easiest way to run a diagnostic test of your current belief system is to group your beliefs/assumptions into classes.
a) Beliefs about Life
Your first order of business should be to examine what you are saying about your life. Are you blessing it? Or are you cursing it?
If you regularly think that your life sucks don’t be surprised that nothing good happens to you. Because how could you be a successful business owner or a happily married person if you believe that your life is horrible?
Tip: Your most important belief/assumption is the one you hold about your life. Start assuming that it is wonderful/amazing/perfect/fulfilling, etc.
b) Beliefs about Manifesting Abilities
Do you often find yourself complaining that you cannot manifest your desires? Or do you keep lamenting why you can manifest everything but money or love?
Then, it’s time to fix these faulty thoughts once and for all!
Tip: Start assuming that you are a master at realizing your desires/master at manifesting money/master at manifesting love and stop grumbling that you cannot manifest anything.
c) “I Am-Type” Beliefs
Whatever you put after the words “I am” will eventually become a very potent part of your self-image.
Now, most of the time the contradiction between your I am-type beliefs and your specific desire is readily apparent. Therefore, they are very easy to fix. For example, believing that “I am poor” is clearly in contradiction with the desire that “I am making a million dollars a month.”
Tip: Be very careful of how you react to events and phrase things. For example, if you notice a pimple on your face, don’t cry out that you are an ugly duckling, and thus, make a temporary problem bigger and more permanent. Don’t call yourself unlucky in love after one bad date. Don’t label yourself a bad student due to one bad grade.
d) “They Are-Type” Beliefs
Next, analyze your beliefs about the group of people who are necessarily involved in the manifestation of your specific desire.
For example, let’s say you are a man who is in the process of manifesting a romantic relationship with a woman. If you want a happy relationship, make sure that you don’t nurse beliefs about the opposite sex that could ruin your bliss. For instance, a belief that beautiful women are all cheaters will surely introduce you to one!
e) Broader On-Topic Beliefs
Another crucial step is to look at the beliefs you hold about the broader topic of your desire.
Are you manifesting marriage? What do you believe about love/your love life in general? Do you think that love hurts?
Are you manifesting a huge promotion? What do you believe about money in general? Do you think that more money means more problems?
Tip: Always make sure that your general beliefs/assumptions relating to the topic of your specific desire are positive and don’t condemn the very thing you want to manifest. As Joseph Murphy puts it in The Power of the Subconscious Mind, “One of the causes many people do not have more money is that they are silently or openly condemning it. They refer to money as filthy lucre or the love of money is the root of all evil.”
f) Can/Cannot Beliefs
Do you keep thinking/saying that you cannot manifest your desires? That you cannot catch a break? That you cannot pass your driving test?
As once Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” Be very mindful of how and in what context you think/say that you cannot do something.
Tip: Notice that after every cannot there is always a because; there is always a justification. For example, “I cannot be the CEO of the company because of my young age.” Or, “I cannot be famous in Hollywood because I don’t have what it takes.” Make sure that you also correct your justification – that’s another belief/assumption you accepted as true. (“I can be the CEO of the company because even though I am the youngest, my age doesn’t matter in the decision”; “I can be famous in Hollywood because I do have what it takes.”)
g) Always/Never Beliefs
The adverbs “always” or “never” can be your best friends or your worst enemies; depending on how you use them.
For example, thinking that your feelings are never reciprocated by the woman you like will lead to repeated heartbreaks while believing that you are always lucky in love will result in a fulfilling love life.
Tip: Start assuming that you always manifest what you want.
h) Everybody/Nobody Beliefs
The pronouns “everybody” and “nobody” function similarly to always and never. They can contribute to your happiness or cause you great distress based on how you utilize them.
For instance, thinking that everybody loves working with you is a great assumption and can lead to a great career.
Tip: Start assuming that every person is a golden link in the chain of your good.
i) Easy/Hard – Possible/Impossible Beliefs
Do you want an easy life? Then never label anything difficult! By describing something difficult, you are giving a command to your subconscious to make it so.
Exercise the same caution when using the word “impossible.” Don’t label anything impossible that you want to achieve.
Tip: Start assuming that everything is very easy for you.
Now, some of you might wonder, “how do I know exactly what’s going on in my mind? How can I discover the beliefs I’m truly holding onto?”
The answer is simple. By observing your everyday reactions! To quote Neville again, “What you consent to can only be discovered by an uncritical observation of your reactions to life. Your reactions reveal where you live psychologically; and where you live psychologically, determines how you live here in the outer visible world.”
A reaction is something done, felt, or thought in response to a situation or event. Now, when it comes to manifesting, you only need to monitor your inner reactions.
As Neville puts in his Control Your Inner Conversations lecture, “Stop for one moment and ask yourself, what am I thinking now? You are carrying on a little tiny inner speech at every moment of time…This is what I ask everyone to observe. Observe what you are actually doing on the inside, for that is what God sees; and what you are doing on the inside, you are doing in little tiny speech movements and they are crystallizing in the manifested world round about you.”
Notice from the quote above that Neville equates thoughts with inner speech. In essence, we can engage in two types of inner speech: 1) conversation/dialogue and 2) commentary/monologue.
The first type is when you conduct an imaginary conversation with another person.
The second type is when you internally comment on persons, things, events, and circumstances around you. Now, if you want to find your general beliefs, observe your inner commentary/monologues very closely. That’s where you will get the most intel on them.
Let’s say I want to manifest massive wealth.
What do I think when I check my bank account? Do I feel depressed? Is my first thought that “my money goes out faster than it comes in?” Then, that is my belief.
What do I think when I go into a fancy store? Do I feel uncomfortable and think that “damn, I cannot afford anything here”? Then, I believe that there are certain things I cannot afford.
Or what do I think when I read about wealthy people? Do I feel envy? Is my first thought that “all wealthy people are crooks”? Then, I believe that crookedness is the necessary requirement to amass a fortune.
Or what do I think when I need to pay a bill? Is my first thought that “I can hardly pay my bills?”
Obviously, I cannot think simultaneously that I am insanely wealthy and that I can hardly pay my bills. These are two conflicting assumptions/beliefs. Thus, I need to get rid of the one I don’t want to experience as true in my life. This brings us to our second step.
Step 2 – Eliminate & Change
The second step is to eliminate the beliefs/assumptions that contradict your specific desire by changing them to their opposite and reducing them to a simple thought/sentence.
Let’s go over a couple of examples.
Ideal Body Example
Specific assumption:
“I am 55 kg.”
Related beliefs/assumptions:
“I am unattractive.” → “I am very attractive/sexy.”
“I am fat. / I am so out of shape.” → “I am slim / I am always in ideal shape.”
“It is so hard to lose weight.” → “It is very easy to lose weight.”
“I feel very insecure because of my weight.” → “I feel very confident; I am so slim!”
“People say that I look like a whale.” → “People say that I look like a supermodel.”
“Simply breathing makes me put on weight.” → I can eat whatever I want and still stay in shape!
Dream Job Example
Specific assumption:
“I am working at my dream company.”
Related beliefs/assumptions:
“I am never good enough.” → I am always good enough.
“I am a failure.” → I am a huge success.
“ I always have to settle/compromise in my life.” → I always get exactly what I want.
“ I am always rejected by the companies I like.” → I am always chosen over everyone else; especially by the companies that I like.
“ I am always anxious at the job interviews and perform awfully.” → I am always calm and collected and ace all of my job interviews.
“ There is never an open position at my dream company that I could apply for.” → There are always plenty of great job opportunities for me at my dream company.
“ People don’t hire women like me in the industry.” → The industry is looking for women exactly like me!
Winning a Car Example
Specific assumption:
“I won a Maserati car by entering XZY company’s giveaway.”
Related beliefs/assumptions:
“I can only win insignificant stuff.” → I always win the main prize.
“I am not particularly lucky.” → I am a very lucky person.
“ I don’t have a car / I hate my car.” → I love my car; it’s a freakin’ Maserati!”
“ It’s impossible to win anything from XZY company; they are a scam!” → “I love XZY company because they are totally legit and always deliver.”
Happy Marriage Example
Specific assumption:
“ I am happily married.”
Related beliefs/assumptions:
“Women find it hard to love me.” → “I am very lovable and desirable. I am always loved.”
“I am very unlucky in love.” → “I am so lucky in love.”
“The women I like don’t want me.” → “My love and attraction are always reciprocated.”
“ All the good women are taken.” → “There are plenty of great women out there who would be” happy to be with me.
“My love life sucks.” → “My love life is always wonderful and fulfilling.”
“I will grow old alone.” → “I am so happy I found a partner to share the rest of my life with.”
Once you’ve put together your own list of new general assumptions/beliefs, you must drill them into your subconscious.
Tip: Your new list of general beliefs doesn’t have to be long to be effective. Often, just changing two or three main beliefs is sufficient to let your specific desire materialize.
Step 3 – Practice & Persist
“To attempt to change circumstances before I change my own imaginal activity is to struggle against the very nature of my own being, for my own imaginal activity is animating my world.”
To change our beliefs, we must change the imaginal activities through which we express and breathe life into them. Accordingly, our last and most important step is to incorporate our new general beliefs into our daily imaginal activities.
Based on the works of Neville, we can differentiate between two types of imaginal activities: 1) the deliberate imagining of the wish fulfilled (i.e. visualization) and 2) inner speech.
Visualization is an excellent way to impress a specific desire – something that could be reduced to a single thing or event (like a car, job, vacation, wedding, etc.) – into your subconscious. However, it becomes challenging to apply when it comes to general or abstract ideas (like “I always have more than enough money” or “I’m always at the right time and the right place”). Especially if you want to change more than one belief/assumption.
Therefore, using inner speech is more convenient to re-wire your undesired general beliefs/assumptions.
Now, when you start applying inner speech to change your beliefs, I recommend everyone to play offense rather than defense. What do I mean?
In short, don’t wait for your negative thoughts/assumptions/beliefs to bubble up so that you can attack them with your new, positive ones. Rather, be proactive and start exposing your subconscious mind to your new beliefs as much as possible.
There are essentially four proactive methods you can employ to make your new beliefs part of your inner speech, and thus, give them a creative force:
- You can repeat them in your mind (preferably in a state akin to sleep).
- You can record them and listen to them on a loop (preferably at night).
- You can write them down and read them as frequently as possible (preferably right before going to sleep).
- Or you can keep writing them down over and over again (preferably right before going to sleep).
Out of the four abovementioned methods, feel free to use whichever you like. You can even mix and match them. However, the most important is that you use at least one of the methods every single night, just before you go to sleep. Why? Because the last waking concept of yourself will definitely go into your subconscious.
As Neville puts it in The Feeling Is the Secret, “While you are awake, you are a gardener selecting seed for your garden, but ‘Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone; but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit’ [John 12:24]. Your conception of yourself as you fall asleep is the seed you drop into the ground of the subconscious. Dropping off to sleep feeling satisfied and happy compels conditions and events to appear in your world which confirm these attitudes of mind.”
This also means that if you want to be as effective as possible, limit the beliefs/assumptions you feed into your subconscious at once at night. Trying to recite a hundred new ones in a drowsy state is impractical and leads to sporadic or delayed results.
Instead, divide your list of new beliefs/assumptions into groups of 4 or 5. Once you have successfully impressed your subconscious with your first set of new beliefs (i.e. you have tangible results on the outside that confirm your new belief is true in your life), you can move on to your next set.
And you keep doing this, until belief by belief, assumption by assumption, you re-build your whole world to your liking.
I found a solution. I will not now think of myself x-number of years into the future. I am painting a portrait of myself.
Portraits are not painted by one stroke of the brush. And so, I am taking it easy, and I start with the little things in my life,
the little things, and I change them to make them conform to the portrait of the being I am painting of myself.